The intrepid Moscow Monster showing off its giant teeth. How many will stop going to the beaches in Moscow, now? This one had many stumped and the Russian response didn’t help put anyone at ease.

From Cracked:

The Moscow Monster clearly came from the ocean, yet judging by the structure of the bones and teeth, wildlife experts say it’s not a fish. It was also clearly not a reptile, as the only match in size would be a crocodile or alligator, which would not only fail to account for the location, but the skeleton is all wrong for that as well. Finally, Big Bird is still alive and teaching four-year-olds about the intrinsic value of “B” so that pretty much does away with all immediately apparent options.The Mystery: The corpse was estimated at roughly 20-feet in length, and covered in some bizarre shag material that was not feathers, fur or scales. Adding further intrigue to the mystery, it was reported that Russian Special Services were called in to take the carcass away in secrecy. So we’ve got government cover-ups in addition to possibly prehistoric beasts: It’s the thing urban legends are made of. The Reveal: It was a beluga whale. All that “it’s not a fish, it’s not a reptile and it don’t got fur,€ speculation should’ve tipped you off to the answer: What’s not a fish but lives in the water? A whale. What’s not feathers, fur, nor scales? Blubber. Whales are mammals, and their skeletal structures reflects that fact. If you’re not familiar with whale physiology, you might see a live whale and assume that its skeleton is made up of a €œbunch of round,€ with some “€œflipper things” on the side. So when a corpse washes up on the beach with what looks like a serpentine tail, articulated hands and a beak, most can be forgiven for assuming it was an uRru tragically felled by the sinister Skeksis.

Photos provided by EnglishRussia.